Why are you... the things... you choose to... be?

I was recently compared to House, the titular character of that angsty show. Or rather my former self from a few years ago was. It went like this "You seen House? That was you a few years ago. You used to be a real jerk. You got nice and I don't know why."

For anyone else who is wondering why my change in demeanor, I will tell you: Necessity.

Take this brain busting thought experiment. Imagine Dr. House wasn't a super genius Dr. that people come from all over the world to see. Imagine, instead, he is a self employed competently unbalanced author.

If this were the case, all the episodes would encompass him hanging around his rustic, isolated, nubric cabin. If he were alone to write all his books who else would be around? Nobody. In his constantly pissed off nature he would end up spending his life yelling at his cat and throwing things at the tv. I'm sure occasionally to mix things up he would yell at the tv and throw things at his cat.

As entertaining as this is it doesn't compete with the House that exist. Why? Because it is much more fun (and funnier) to be a complete AWhole (yeah I spelled that wrong) to people (particularly of the opposite gender).

Some people have spines, though. If you treat them like crap they will go away, ignore you, and move on with their lives. Then you have no one to be consamantly bedlamite at. You're back at throwing collectible novelty mugs at your tv and telling your cat how worthless she is.

That's why you need necessity.

In order to be a jerk you need people to need you more than they want to get away from you. House (prodigiously) has it. He is far too important in the (fictional) professional world. If people want to move up, they need his permission. That means they put up with his hubris because they need to if they want to make a name for themselves. Pride is a very strong driving force.

See, I don't have that (yet).

*Aside: I've noticed (go fig) that while (mildly) relevant, words set within (that means between) parenthesis aren't (always) necessary.*

I'm a college undergrad student. If I'm a jerk to my friends they leave and go play with some cute girls in the complex. If I'm mean to people in my study group they form a coup and meet at a new place and time without telling me. If I'm a jerk to my boss I get fired. If I'm a horror to my professors they lower my grade (see I need them, so they can be jerks to me).

In my current position I can't be a successful prude. I need people tethered to me. People who can't escape my grasp. People who take my verbal abuse, and to get a good recommendation ask for more.

Sigh.

Someday...

oh well, it's the dreaming that's the best part anyway.
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