"Why are you doing it?" she asked.
"Because I'm angry at myself. I've done to many wrong things and it's time I make penance for for my actions. I figure by following this path not only will I be punishing myself, but I will be helping those less fortunate. I feel like Reverend Dimmesdale. He was guilty of adultery. His lover bore the shame and scorn of those secret actions every day, while he remained a pillar of their society. He absolutely abhorred himself. So did he confess? Did he tell everyone what he did and step down from his position? No, and you know why? Because it was harder. He hated who he had become. Confession would've come as a relief, but he realized he didn't deserve relief. He knew that the people of his community needed a religious leader. He also knew that continuing the lie would be the most difficult thing he could do. So he kept it bottled up within him. He put on a holy facade, all the while knowing that he was more debased then the worst of them. Everyday he grew to hate himself more, because with every passing day not only did the sin of adultery persist, but his new, and worse, sin of hypocrisy grew. It was exactly what he wanted: the people were tended and cared for, and he punished himself beyond any measure that the populace could've burdened him with.
"I can't stand the thought of going on day after day, year after year, of this mindless drivel. But the fact is, it will help those in need and allow me to amplify my much deserved compunction. My suffering is compounded by the aid these people will receive. My life will finally mean something."
"Wow," she seemed at a loss for words. "That's why you decided to embark in this? That's incredible."
"Pfft, no," he responded. "I'm doing this because I'm so interested in the work. This sounds like its going to be amazingly fun. The fact that it will help people in need only makes it better. Why should I do something I hate to help others when there's something I love to do that just as beneficiary. Why must helping others require suffering on my part? There's no dignity in such a sacrifice; I'm doing it because it'll help people and it's something I naturally love."
"Oh," she sounded disappointed.
"Because I'm angry at myself. I've done to many wrong things and it's time I make penance for for my actions. I figure by following this path not only will I be punishing myself, but I will be helping those less fortunate. I feel like Reverend Dimmesdale. He was guilty of adultery. His lover bore the shame and scorn of those secret actions every day, while he remained a pillar of their society. He absolutely abhorred himself. So did he confess? Did he tell everyone what he did and step down from his position? No, and you know why? Because it was harder. He hated who he had become. Confession would've come as a relief, but he realized he didn't deserve relief. He knew that the people of his community needed a religious leader. He also knew that continuing the lie would be the most difficult thing he could do. So he kept it bottled up within him. He put on a holy facade, all the while knowing that he was more debased then the worst of them. Everyday he grew to hate himself more, because with every passing day not only did the sin of adultery persist, but his new, and worse, sin of hypocrisy grew. It was exactly what he wanted: the people were tended and cared for, and he punished himself beyond any measure that the populace could've burdened him with.
"I can't stand the thought of going on day after day, year after year, of this mindless drivel. But the fact is, it will help those in need and allow me to amplify my much deserved compunction. My suffering is compounded by the aid these people will receive. My life will finally mean something."
"Wow," she seemed at a loss for words. "That's why you decided to embark in this? That's incredible."
"Pfft, no," he responded. "I'm doing this because I'm so interested in the work. This sounds like its going to be amazingly fun. The fact that it will help people in need only makes it better. Why should I do something I hate to help others when there's something I love to do that just as beneficiary. Why must helping others require suffering on my part? There's no dignity in such a sacrifice; I'm doing it because it'll help people and it's something I naturally love."
"Oh," she sounded disappointed.
No comments:
Post a Comment