Neglected Endowment

"I don't deserve this," she said.

"Then why are you smiling?" he asked.

"Because I... don't deserve this." It sounded as though she were holding back tears. "I'm a good person and I deserve better than this. And for the first time I can admit that."

"Admit what?" he asked.

"That I'm a good person. I've never been able to do that before. I've never been able to look at myself and admire the qualities that I have; I've never acknowledged that I'm a person of worth.

"Before... earlier, I mean... well... when things like this would occur... I'd blame myself. It was my fault: there were things I should've done to prevent it, or it was karma for previous or future wrongs I'd committed.

"But... but not this time. I look at what's happening, and I realize that I am in pain because of the actions of others. I have done nothing to place myself in this situation or merit this suffering. I'm good! And as a good person... I deserve... better than this."

"If that's the case," he queried, "what are you going to do?"

"I don't know. All I... all I know is... I'm a good person." Now there was a tear.


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