The Day the Jade Came Back

It's official.

I'm jaded again. This is a joyous occasion. I'm finding a nice balance between the positive things I have recently accomplished and changed about myself, and the things that I left behind that I'm rather fond of.

I'm keeping my new self-motivation, along with renewed drive to excel at school but not at the detriment to my well being. I'm keeping my newly development positive demeanor, and the positive outlook on life. I'm retaining my new found philosophy that happiness comes from doing what you want. But I'm getting rid of my overtly optimistic view on relationships and time-frames.

The Jade Returned

These last few months have been very weird for me. In the last eight weeks, I've gone on at least seven dates. I've been keeping myself busy. I have been trying to find something to do and someone to accompany me every weekend for the last few months.

And I gotta tell you... I'm tired of it.

I once heard a wise man compare dating to fishing. He was telling me that the point of going fishing was to catch fish. The point of dating is to find a companion. You can go all day fishing and never catch a single fish. Most people would consider this a failure of a fishing expedition. This wise friend of mind would beg to differ. He told me that even if you don't home with any fish, that didn't keep the sun from shining, it didn't stop the lake from being clear and blue, it didn't stop the wind from whipping a cool breeze around you. And, as long as you enjoyed these things, your fishing trip wasn't a failure. You enjoyed the day. You spent time outside, got some fresh air and some sun. Just because you didn't accomplish your goal, doesn't mean there wasn't anything to enjoy.

And as you can probably guess, he tied this into dating. As he said, you can go on fifty dates and never get a second date. But that doesn't mean you are a failure at dating. If you enjoyed yourself on your dates, experienced new things, and met new people, then it wasn't a failure. You just didn't accomplish your goal. But that doesn't mean there wasn't anything to enjoy.

And this is where I stand. The end of the fishing day. I'll admit, it was fun. I had some good experiences, and it was well worth the time and money I invested into it. But I'm tired of it now. I want to start investing my time and energy into things that I know I'll get a return in.

And that is why I have decided to replace my newly development optimistic view with my previously lost jaded view.

I'm excited to see what this brings. I think some good things will come of this new combination. The amalgamation of the best of times.

So I'm writing this so people will know that I am no longer actively trying in this department. I'm not avoiding it, so if something happens I won't try to stop it, I just won't be actively searching. I'm just simply not expecting anything.

Hence, jaded.


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